Everything that happens in life is important. The big things just as much as the small ones. There's no telling how gravely the innocent flutter of a butterfly will affect, or effect, you 30 years from now.
This is the song called 'Alleine zu Zweit', or 'Loneliness for Two', by the Gothic duo called Lacrimosa. I was introduced to them, and this song to begin with, by mister Gert-Willem van Mourik, or GW as we called him, back in 2004. A fantastic guy. I was struck by this song. It hit home, unconsciously setting in motion personal(ity) changes that define my being and my life. The song is a lament on how a relationship between a man and a woman has died out and doesn't really exist anymore. The man begs to dance again. To dance again in the name of love. It then turns into a duet, where the woman and man both continue the lament, expressing their wish for the dance of life once more, ending in the climactic exclamation that they both want that.
What remains unclear is if they actually told each other this, or if these were their separate never understood miseries that they failed to utter to each other? Did it remain a lonely together, or did it become a together alone? The latter the further evolving of the song in my mind, into my favourite explanation of what is so important in life: the ability to be together alone. In other words, to be happy together but not have to compulsively interact all the time. To be able to just do your own things in the same room as the other, while feeling your bond regardless of all.
It grew in me. It festered. It blossomed. It established. Never would I give up on love, no matter how little and how seemingly futile, or whatever anybody would tell me. Never. This is the one time I would utter the word one should never use: Never. I shall love until it kills me.
For those not too versed in German, I've translated it to English here:
At the end of truth
At the end of light
at the end of love
at the end - There are you
(The heart empties - A part now goes from me)
Nothing has survived
We have silently parted long ago already
And with each passing day "we"
grew the lie of our love
And the longer we travelled the way together
the further we have distanced ourselves from each other
Lonely - Together
We have forgotten how to look for us again
The habit obscured
The inertia suffocated
Arrogance makes you drunk
And the proximity drives to flight
Dance - my life - dance
Dance with me
Dance with me once again
In the pure ecstasy of naked love
And when I see him/her so
When I experience him/her
When I look at us
Something has survived
And if I could find strength and hope
If I even still had faith in us
If I could reach him/her
Have him/her once more for me
If the base - our foundation
If we would discover us once again
If he/she would only want to
Interestingly enough the duo (Lacrimosa) is made up of a Finnish lady and a German guy, but they're based in Switzerland, where I just happen to have moved to. And one of the other 2 songs on that little EP that GW let me listen to, was remixed by Samael, one of the biggest musical influences in my life so far. Samael is also actually a Swiss band, and I got introduced to it by my long-time childhood neighbour Martijn van Rooij while I was still in my early years of gymnasium (secondary school), for which I'm still grateful.
I know people told me back then, during the blackest metal days of both me and Samael as a band, that "it's just a phase" and stuff like that. But that's such a hollow statement.
What we do in life, echoes in eternity. Even the smallest event, defines the course of all life.