Stanziliëri

in the morning
when the sun is bright
It is summer.
Not yet, but quite.

I've waited all those years
then the culprit disappears
but the ache is still the same
and the hurt still makes me lame
with the sun right in my eye
I feel stupid
broken
shy

wake me up
get me here
take me there
by my hand
to a distant frozen land
where my ache will go
and my brain goes low
where my heart will freeze
so my body won't decease
and I won't forget
but my ache won't feel so bad

am I fleeing?

I want you here
I want you now
I want you then
and forever
I want you yesterday
and the day before the last
I want you in my future
and in years long past

but here I am and thus
waking up once more
feeling hurt
feeling blue
feeling drifting on a shore
in the hot white sand
and cool blue sea
with the gulls above
and a crab on my knee

Like a rock of weed
full of crap
full of need
waking up
once more
drifting on my homebuild shore
on the edge of my life
my existence
my device

can I bend some more?
can I wait that while?
will I snap?
will I not?
is this now the final bit?

Where should I go now....?

S.